We all do it, don’t we? Put ourselves down in one way or another. Usually we don’t mean it, not really. Or do we?
We say things like “Silly me!” or “It’s only me”. We tell ourselves we don’t really mean it, and that we really do value ourselves. But words are powerful. So much more powerful that we often realise.
When people ask me “How are you?” I have a very nasty habit of telling them. As far as I am concerned, if you don’t really want to know, don’t ask. And it works – the people who really do want to know how I am continue to ask it, those who only use it as a pleasantry tend not to ask it again. But I used to say that things were tough or that I was worried about this and that. Lately, I have taken a different approach. I reply with something along the lines of “I am fucking awesome, that’s how I am. My work/health/family/mental state might be kinda shit, but I am awesome. Thank you so much for asking.”
And I like this idea. The idea of differentiating between how I am and what is happening in my life. Events in my life have an influence on me, but they do not affect who I am, at the very core of me.
But our everyday language is full of self-deprecation. We are sorry a lot. Sorry for being honest, sorry for being who we are, sorry for helping others even. And especially among friends. I know that I have always tried to be very careful with what I say and do because I might not be seen as being good enough.
Well, 2013 is a marker for that ending. I know what and who I am, and I believe my dear friends, you my dear readers, know this too. I believe that, for me, it is time to cast aside my doubts, my fears, and act from my heart. I’ve learned the key lessons. And now it is time to forget them because they have become part of who I am.
And I want this to encourage others. We have to stop fearing ourselves, we have to start talking about ourselves as being the amazing, incredible, loving people we are. It is never “just” us. We are never “silly” or “stupid”. As I quoted in my post on The English Teacher:
Remember when you said you couldn’t do that speech? Well – you did. Let that be a lesson for all you do. Don’t defeat yourself first – there will be plenty of others who will try to do that for you.
I hope you’ve learnt something; I hope you’ve enjoyed yourself.
There are countless links I could offer you on the language of positivism. But I don’t think that will be of any additional use here. I have said many, many times, the power of words is incredible. Just a few words, or even one, can tear down walls, destroy people, or shine a light on a world of goodness, lift someone in need (often ourselves) up upon a pedestal.
I just want to end this first post of 2013 with a big thank you to my NZ Secret Santa for the lovely gift of a notebook to record my thoughts for blog posts. It will be much used, and I am honoured by your kindness.
Much love to all. And if you are in a dark place, if you find your world is full of negativity and doubt, please know that I am here for you. Someone to listen to your troubles, to yell at if you need it, or a shoulder to cry on, and arms to hold you should you be a hugs kinda person.
Thank you to everyone who has ever supported me, and I apologise for my absence. I shall return in strength this year.