Now here is one for the books. This is a story about the only time I was ever arrested.
Leading on from the hedgehog story, when I was flatting in the same house, I got arrested one lovely summer’s night. But I am getting ahead of myself.
Imagine it, a gorgeous sunny Wellington Anniversary weekend. Brilliant sun, no wind, and a beach just aching for your presence. So off I went, down to Breaker Bay. For those who don’t know, part of Breaker Bay beach is pretty much accepted as a nudist beach. And, as I had become a regular with the main crowd there, I headed off for what felt like some much needed sun.
Wonderful day, wonderful people, great feeling, great food, no clothes.
As the day came to a close, I got dressed and headed back home. I went up to my sleepout, ordered a pizza and settled in for a comfy night in my dressing gown, eating pizza, having a wine and watching some telly. Ahhhhh …..
When the pizza was finished, I thought I’d head on over the road and toss the crusts to the seagulls. This being about 8:45PM. I headed back across the road, settled down and thought that was me for the night. Especially seeing as I had to get up early the next morning to fly to Dunedin – I was on a team that had implemented a new debt management system, and had to give a training session to our staff down there.
I was getting into bed when there was a knock on the door. Hurriedly getting something on (but it seems not quite quick enough) there were two police officers at the door. They wanted to talk to me about a complaint from a neighbour. It seems that, when I had tossed my pizza crusts (so to speak) I turned, and from a distance of nearly 100 metres, through partially closed blinds, saw my neighbours standing at the window looking out at me. And apparently, I flashed them. Judging by what I was charged with, I didn’t just flash them, but…. did things … with my hands … and my … ummm …. other bits. Needless to say, I was in shock.
Cautioned at the flat. Asked to put something on and accompany them to the station. Cautioned. Photographed. Fingerprinted. Interviewed. All through the interview, I made sure I remained polite, and open and honest. When they thanked me for being co-operative I said “Well, you’re doing your job, and you have enough crap to deal with – you don’t need me adding to it.” And I meant it.
Finally released at about 2am. I still recall it clearly. Police car pulled up and driver says (snarky) “Is this the flasher?” and the arresting officer said “Nah – he’s OK”.
Flying down to Dunedin, I was pretty knackered as you can imagine. And I had much bigger things on my mind that training a bunch of people. I rang my friend from the beach, thinking “If anyone knows a good lawyer for a case of [alleged] obscene exposure, he will”.
And here I will leave you for this episode. There is more to tell. Oh so much more.